Why do people turn around when they see we aren't busy?  I have had some of the most amazing conversations in empty bars...

Last night was a particularly slow night.  In "the industry" as we all lovingly call it, there are many factors that influence business level:  Local festivals, parties, concerts, sporting events, weather, coupons, farmers markets, full moon, the second coming of Christ, etc.

...Anyway, last night, which was a Thursday, we were empty by 11.  When do we close?  2, so when customers do come in, I am craving the human interaction.  I probably cross the helpful/annoying barrier kind-of often on nights like that.  Luckily for me, the remaining ten customers that came in after 11 all sat at my rail (less running).  Around 11:30, two very attractive girls came in...

The two came in and immediately looked around with the "are they even open?" look in their eyes.  I vaguely recognized them as being there a few times before.  As it turned out, they had been in several times over the last six years and I felt like an idiot for not remembering them.  On top of that, I had been serving them illegally for two of those years because they were teens with very good fake ID's...and, they had double D's which no doubt, helped them past our hapless security back in the day.

One girl took a few moments to decide on a drink and finally landed on a Mojito, which was our $5 drink of the day.  The other girl, as if just politely waiting for her friend to decide before giving me her order, asked for an African Amber...

This blog is all about social commentary.  I don't profess to be an expert on psychology, although I am a part-time psychologist and work for a third of the price of professionals.  I am not a relationship expert, but again, cheaper than such experts.  I am not often the best friend of those who sit at my bar, but I hear more than most best friends will ever hear.  I'm not even particularly interesting, clever or good looking.  What I am is a lover of people, a good listener and I am safe.  The people I choose to talk about in this blog are named for their drinks.  Some will be re-occurring because their presence is re-occurring (sometimes daily, sometimes multiple times per day).  My hope is that if people recognize themselves, it will either be because it is quite literally them I am talking about or because they simply see a comonality with the person described.  What I have learned after serving people for nearly seven years, is that we aren't all that different.

Getting back to the girls, Mojito and Amber were the perfect bar companions.  They were as in to talking with eachother as they were in to talking with me.  I mentioned we were thinking of doing a ladies night and asked what they thought would be a fun evening.  Both shrugged and said they never go out anymore because they work early and are in relationships.

I'm going to stop there for a minute to get on my soap box.  Why do people cut themselves off from the world as soon as they get in a relationship?  Do people really find fulfillment in that or is it just a sense of duty?  I'm sorry, but I see couples come in and just sit opposite from eachother not saying a word for the duration of their stay.  From an outside perspective:  You Look Miserable!  Want to have stuff to talk about again?  Couples! GO OUT AND DO STUFF!! If it is a fear that allowing your significant other to go out with their friends equals allowing them to cheat on you, get over it.  Go out and have adventures so that you can come back and share the stories with the one you love or the bartender you love (so that I can blog about it).  It might break his concentration on the football game for a moment.  It may even distract her from 50 Shades.  Okay, don't interrupt 50 Shades...or Magic Mike, but other moments for sure.

I like to evesdrop on occasion and insert myself into conversations if I find them interesting (which I'm sure is annoying but, hey, you're in my house).  What I heard was "...and sometimes I feel like I could just snap."  I said, "please don't break anything" with a smile so she knew I was just joking.  Then I added, "What has you so wound up?"

Here's what's nice about what I do compared to other people in the world besides maybe a priest:  I can ask that from people that I don't know and they don't respond with "none of your business" or something along those lines.

Amber was the one speaking and she said that her husband had just gone back to Afghanistan.  I asked for how long and she said she thought about 9 months.  Seems like something that would be easy to answer but often for military spouses and girlfriends, 3 month deployments turn into 6 month deployments or year long deployments.  It can be really tough.  She said the toughest part is the fact that she is falling apart inside but she can't share that with her man while he is fighting a war. She loves him too much and wants him to remain focused.  Then, she started to tear up as she said that her big tough Army Ranger husband broke down before he left.  He wept audibly as he told her he didn't want to leaver her again...was afraid to go.  She, like millions of loving spouses before her had to let him go, having full knowledge of the dangers he would soon face.  Would he come home changed?  Would he come home in one piece?  Would he come home at all? 

Whenever he calls from overseas, everything is fine. 

Who has it tougher?  The soldier or the ones left behind?

As part of my social commentary, I like to make assumptions about the people in my blogs based on their drinks:

Mojito came in and thought quite a while about what she wanted before ordering and had no interest in looking at our bar menu for ideas.  She also had a total of 3 mojitos and changed the flavor each time.  I would say she is someone who looks for inspiration and likes trying new things.  Not looking at the bar menu could mean she has tried everything before or it could mean she never looks at bar menus.  I am going to assume the latter.  She likes a good, interesting drink but is also value conscious.  If she said she does a lot of her shopping at Nordstrom Rack or Ross, it wouldn't surprise me.  She was, as I stated earlier, a gorgeous woman but there was nothing flashy about her.  She didn't have the air of someone who was above everyone else but she did hold herself with confidence.  Good interesting coctails for a reasonable price fits her personality.

Amber, I could tell by the way she ordered, knew she was going to have an African Amber before she walked through the door.  She is a creature of habit.  If she had been hungry, I would guess a 6" peperoni pizza would be her order.  I don't mean to call her dull.  She was interesting and had a lot to say as well as being an attentive listener.  Some people just know what they like and will order it repeatedly.  I think there is some trust issue there too though.  What I mean is that the same thing will always come out the same way and therefore come out correctly every time.  Straying from this leads to uncertainty.  In an unknown restaurant or bar, Mojito would probably be fine if not delighted to try whatever interesting coctail the bartender suggested as long as it isn't too sweet (she IS a lady afterall) or expensive but Amber would be quickly scanning the shelves and taps for labels she recognizes.